Redefining Mamma's Boy

It’s Mother’s Day. I’m lying in bed and I can hear muffled voices outside my bedroom door. “Be careful.. Ssshh, you’ll wake her up. I think she’s awake.. Should we go in?” 

I grin to myself and await events. Slowly, my bedroom door is pushed open and three little pieces of my heart come tumbling in.. carrying a breakfast tray. A specially made breakfast of a grilled cheese sandwich and dip tea for their favorite mama.

As I sit nibbling my grilled cheese sandwich, I think about how much I love my  3 little Mama’s boys and what they mean to me.I then think about the term ‘Mama’s boys’ and what it had meant to us when we were growing up. 

We were told, “A mama’s boy is overly attached or influenced by his mother.  He grows up to be weak, dependent, and unable to form healthy relationships with other women.”

 We were told to stay away from these kinds of boys. They wouldn’t be emotionally available.

But, Did You Know? 

• Little boys who lack a healthy attachment to their moms are often more aggressive, disobedient and even violent. As they reach middle school age, boys closer to their moms are less likely to think fighting is necessary when challenged or that being a guy means acting tough.
• A better relationship a boy has with his mom translates to better relationships with women later in life. Boys learn to understand women and be more empathetic partners. Contrary to the stereotype, boys who express a broader range of emotions become more independent and make strong, empathetic spouses.
• Moms are sometimes unfairly pressured to push their sons away emotionally, especially when the boys are young. But the research shows the opposite - that boys need their moms’ support and affection to develop into well-adjusted men. A close mother-son relationship is not a sign of weakness, but of emotional intelligence and resilience. 

The ‘Mama’s boy’ myth is outdated and often does more harm than good. Here’s a list of what My Mama’s Boys and I like to do together and how it makes a difference to their lives… 

1.We love watching movies together. We chat and bond over the movies talking about all the moments that happened in the movie - the happy, sad, angry, surprising moments. My Mama’s boy learns to engage in emotional conversations and express his feelings openly. 

2.We cook meals together.  We make meal plans, go shopping for vegetables and he helps me by washing, cutting or just sits on the kitchen counter chatting while I cook. My Mama’s boy understands the need for health and nutrition and develops skills for cooking for himself and his family in the future. 

3.We do arts and craft projects together. We make a mess and then we clean up. We hang up our artwork proudly. My Mama’s boy develops creativity, imagination and self expression. Key skills that he will need to succeed in the future. 

4.We play sports and games together. I’m not great at sports but I have fun. We play ball, we cycle..My Mama’s boy learns that playing sports isn't always about winning or losing. It’s about having fun and keeping fit. It’s about looking after your body. 

5.We put on a face pack. Oil our hair on Sundays. Use moisturiser and sunscreen. I relax with my little one. Take a breather. Sit down for a while. My Mama’s boy learns that self care is important. Taking time out for oneself is important. 

6.We cuddle. A lot. We spend weekend mornings cuddling. Talking about anything and everything. My Mama’s boy learns that physical connection is important. Hugging releases oxytocins that are good for your mind and body. 

7.We do chores together. He helps make the bed, puts away his toys and clothes. My Mama’s boy is learning that maintaining a home is everyone’s responsibility. 

8.We talk. A lot. In the car. On a walk in the park. At mealtimes. Before going to bed. My Mama’s boy is learning to actively listen and express himself. He is learning to communicate and share his day and be a part of mine.

So, this Mother’s Day, let’s redefine what it means to raise a Mama’s Boy.

 When your little boy sticks close to you, running behind you all day, prompting aunties to say, “He’s such a Mama’s Boy…”, you can proudly say, “Yes! He is a Mama’s boy!”